A New Year: Being Kind to Yourself
Tell me if this sounds familiar? It is January of a new year and you find yourself making bold promises to do more, be more, fix everything. But you quickly fall back into old patterns. It isn’t because you lack confidence or commitment; it’s because life happens to us when we are making plans. So, I made a new promise to myself this year. I am going to be kinder; kinder to myself and kinder to others. others.
In the years I have been around horses, I have learned they understand this better than humans do. Horses understand something many of us forget when the calendar turns—they live in the present. A horse doesn’t worry about last year’s mistakes or obsess over next month’s goals. They respond to what is happening now: the tone of your voice, the softness of your hands, the energy you bring into the barn. In that way, horses are natural teachers for the new year.
.Horses don’t learn or change well under pressure, and neither do we. When we approach ourselves with frustration or disappointment, that tension often travels straight down the lead rope. Horses sense it immediately. Tight shoulders, shallow breathing, impatience—these signals matter. What if we just spent some time with horses and watch them. Yes, just watch them, being. Not riding them. Not training them. Just being with them. I am not kidding you, it is one of the most relaxing things you can do.
Kindness Is a Skill
Kindness is often misunderstood as softness or indulgence. In reality, it’s a skill that requires awareness and discipline. With horses, kindness shows up as clear communication, fair boundaries, and empathy for their physical and emotional limits.
With yourself, it looks much the same.
It might mean:
Taking a day off when your body or mind is tired
Asking for help instead of pushing through confusion
Celebrating small wins instead of waiting for perfection
Allowing yourself to be a learner, not an expert
Horses thrive when they feel safe, understood, and respected. Humans do too.
A Gentler Kind of Resolution
Instead of rigid resolutions, consider setting an intention. Something spacious and forgiving.
This year, I will choose patience over pressure.
This year, I will prioritize connection over control.
This year, I will speak to myself the way I speak to my horse on a good day.
Horses don’t need us to be perfect. They need us to be present, honest, and fair. And we don’t need to be perfect either.
Carrying It Forward
As the year unfolds, there will be good rides and hard days, breakthroughs and moments of doubt. Let kindness be the thread that runs through all of it.
In choosing kindness, you are giving yourself and others space and building real relationships rooted in trust, compassion. Horses teach us that growth (and love) happen best when we feel safe enough to try.
That’s a lesson worth carrying into the new year—and every day after.
