The Power of 3
I am a big fan of Koper Equine – Happy Horses Through Equine Massage & Bodywork.
As a new Equine Massage Bodyworker, I am eager to learn all I can about the horse so that I can help them in the most beneficial way possible. What I didn’t expect was the way it would also transform my life.
I saw a Facebook Post a while back about the The 3 Days • 3 Weeks • 3 Months Rule written by Koper Equine. It talked about how training, conditioning and massage therapy can support a horse’s adjustment to a new home.
They wrote: “When a horse arrives in a new home, their body and brain go through predictable stages of stress, recalibration, and integration. Understanding these stages helps set fair expectations for training, conditioning, and bodywork — and ensures the horse feels safe enough to truly learn.”
The article went on to say that
the first three days are spent in survival mode
the first three weeks are the adjustment and testing phase
the first three months are where integration into the herd and life truly happens
I can attest that this is true. I have seen horses come into my herd and follow this pattern exactly. I have also seen horses that despite all the time in the world are just not the right fit for the situation they are in. At that point, I commit myself to finding them a place where they will be happy even if it is not with me. I have also seen horses move through this process at an amazing speed. They just come into any new situation with the right mindset. This doesn’t mean I rush them, it just means they seem to be adaptable to whatever life brings their way.
It made me think about how, we as people, approach our own lives.
All of us have different personalities, just like our horses. I can say, for me personally, that I am super resilient and and power through almost any situation. When I fall, I always, ALWAYS get back up. But it doesn’t always come easy or naturally. I have made up my mind that this is the way it is going to be. It doesn’t mean I don’t have setbacks, moments of fear or anxiety or that I never experience sadness or hopelessness. I do.
But if I apply the acceptance method and practice a 3-step tool, I can get move forward. Remember “acceptance” is not that you agree with what is happening or that you like it; it simply means you deal with what it is - good or bad.
Then you have
Spend three minutes, hours, days and be open and honest with yourself. Feel your feelings; don’t hide from them. Cry, scream, do whatever you need to do to release the emotion. I like to do all of that in addition to just sitting in my horse’s stall watching him eat. Or I muck stalls. Strange, I know but it relaxes me.
Do three things for yourself. I love to read. I love to just walk with my horses. I can even go weeks without riding. It is not about what I have to do. Horses don’t care about all that either. They seek harmony within the herd and they seek it with us as well. If we allow them to, they can help us breathe. Find those three things that make you smile; whatever they are and do that for yourself.
Spend time before you drift off to sleep to find three things that you did well today. Don’t focus on what you could have done better. Focus only on what you did well. Sometimes it might be as small as you fed your horses today. But they ate and they are happy - so well done you! Let’s take this a step further, when you experience something during the day that upsets you, take three deep breathes, in through the nose and out of the mouth. If you watch horses, any time they experience a new thing, they take time to process, to see how they “feel” about it. Most of the time their initial reaction was fear but after processing it, they can accept what it is and move forward. Finally, at night, think of three things that you are grateful for and that make you happy. Drift off to sleep with those thoughts in your mind.
I know it sounds like a lot. It also isn’t easy. It takes practice. But learn from horses. When they come into a new situation:
the first three days are spent in survival mode
the first three weeks are the adjustment and testing phase
the first three months are where integration into the herd and life truly happens
The power of 3!
